Archives for category: Random

at its very best:

A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on the top. Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the monkeys with cold water.

After a while, every time a monkey went up the ladder, the others beat up the one on the ladder. After some time, no monkey dares to go up the ladder regardless of the temptation.

Scientists then decided to substitute one of the monkeys. The 1st thing this new monkey did was to go up the ladder.Immediately the other monkeys beat him up. After several beatings, the new member learned not to climb the ladder even though never knew why!

After sometime, 2nd monkey was substituted and the same occurred. The 1st monkey participated on the beating for the 2nd monkey. A 3rd monkey was changed and the same was repeated (beating). The 4th was substituted and the beating was repeated and finally the 5th monkey was replaced.

What was left was a group of 5 monkeys that even though never received a cold shower,continued to beat up any monkey who attempted to climb the ladder. If it was possible to ask the monkeys why they would beat up all those who attempted to go up the ladder…..I bet you the answer would be…. I don’t know – that’s how things are done

This message is to the monkeys and donkeys in Sri Lankan Universities that are obsessed with their so called ‘sub-culture’.

There are a lot of crazy applications on Facebook.

I noticed one app which promised to analyze my profile picture and tell me some of my characteristics. So I gave it a go, but chose not to use my own picture as that would just be too easy. Here are the results:

A cool and sexy cow:

and a very beautiful and smart Uruk-Hai:

– Every significant character has a skeleton in the closet

– The said character will do almost anything to keep this skeleton in the closet

– Chances of a normal policeman apprehending a criminal is almost nil

– Policemen usually arrive on the scene just a few seconds late

– A visit to the medic will fix up anything from a cut to mutilated toes or even a hand; from indigestion to a severe burn; from a bruise to being half drowned and electrocuted

– If you are really good you won’t even need the medic

– Prison wardens will let a bunch of criminals escape when threatened with a shank although there are armed guards just outside the door

– Even the noblest character can be forced to do the wrong thing

– The said character would later go on to redeem him/herself

– Intending to kill someone and pulling a gun on them is ‘OK’; so long as the target is already dead.

– If not for the sirens on the cars, catching escaped prisoners would be so much easier. If only those damn sirens could be turned off….

– You will never die in a car accident

– On the contrary, you will be able to stand up and walk away from the car wreck with just a few minor injuries

– Gunshots will almost always miss

– On the off chance that a bullet does hit you, it fails to kill you; unless you were shot at point blank range

– Some people are just impossible to kill. Yes, I’m looking at you Mr. T-Bag

– The person hunting for you may only be a couple of feet away, but you can get away just in the nick of time

– By choosing the correct angle you can hide from some people while being visible to others, although the two parties are quite near each other

– No plan ever works out as it should

Anyone who watched this season of Britain’s Got Talent would have been baffled by Stevie Starr aka The Regurgitator. Well, I’ve seen how he does it.

Warning: Read on only if you want to spoil the magic of it.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you because after you know how it is done, the act is not amazing anymore.

So how does he do it? Well I figured it out from the following video:

Did you see it? Watch closely from 1:26 to 1:34. Saw it?

Here’s a breakdown of what happens:

  • 1:26 – He puts down the light bulb
  • 1:30 – He brings up the coin
  • 1:33 –  Finally he brings up the light bulb again

Still didn’t see it? @1:29 the bulb should be in his stomach, but you see it when he puts his special ‘sound effect’. Check the image, the bulb is still there in his mouth – you can clearly see it. He keeps it in the back of the mouth. When ‘swallowing’  he uses his tongue to make it look like he really swallowed it.

I must say he is really brilliant at what he does. Unfortunately the camera was in the wrong position in this video revealing his secret.

Well there you go. What did you think of Stevie Starr and his act? Do you agree with this explanation? Leave a comment.

I hadn’t factored in Janey Cutler into the competition. She sung her way to the top and upset my prediction for the fourth semi. They are saying she’s the next Su-Bo. I thought she was really a bit too old for it, but the British think differently.

Moving on to the last of the semi finals, I’ve got a feeling Liam McNally is going to win this one. The next two positions are the most difficult as always and there are a few contenders: Myztikal, A3, and Dance Flavourz are the front runner as I see it. The ‘Wow’ factor is gone for the Chippendoubles and they will have to pull something very different out of the bag if they are to get to the next stage.

I feel that Myztikal and Dance Flavourz may be the two acts put in front of the judges. It’s really hard to pick between them because it will all come down the their performance on the night. If I have to pick one it will have to be Dance Flavourz, just on potential. Well nothing to do but wait and find out!!

By the way this seasons finale is going to have the most variation. There are so many diffent kinds of acts. It should be very interesting.

Britain’s Got Talent is by far the best talent search show around and I love it. So this week I will try and predict the winners of each semi.

The dance act Spellbound will win the first semi without any problems.

Now the hard part is who will be second. I have it down to three people. There are two singers – Josh Barry & Olivia Archibald. Then there is Stevie Starr – the Regurgitator. I must say his is an amazing act.

I’m thinking that Olvia will come in second place. Personally tho I would like to see the Regurgitator go through just because his act is so crazy.

I thought I’d share this joke that I read today. Enjoy!

I took my 66 year old dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.

We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours – green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at her.

The teenager kept looking and would find my dad staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, she sarcastically asked: “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; I knew he would have a good one!

In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid …………

“Got stoned once and screwed a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my daughter.”

It seems the most popular name for girls nowadays is ‘Bella’ (in Sinhala it would be: බෙල්ලා). This is, of course, inspired by Twilight. But why would anyone want to do that to a child, let alone their own kid? OK. So you are an uber fan of the pathetic excuse for series called Twilight, but really? Your own child?

Let’s see what (Isa)bella from Twilight has to offer. She is weak. She is clumsy. She cannot make proper decisions. She shakes like a leaf all the time (what’s with that? It looks like she constantly has a bad case of pneumonia or something). She goes chasing after a 107 old vampire that’s actually not even a real vampire at that – a ‘vegetarian’ vampire (Oh, Dracula must be so proud!). She doesn’t listen to her dad and gets the family into trouble. She’s mentally unstable (and personally I think a bit retarded). She easily becomes suicidal. She claims to be so in love with Edward but goes to hang out with Jacob whenever Edward isn’t around (promiscuous much?). And to top it all off she doesn’t have a friggin clue about anything that goes on around her. I could go on, but you get the picture.

Are these the qualities you would want in your daughter? So, to repeat my question why would you name your kid ‘Bella’??

On the flip side the most popular boys name is Jacob – which is cool. He’s young and very very very good looking. He’s a real werewolf (unlike a certain pansy vampire). He gets used by a girl – but let’s face it – all guys get used by a girl sometime or other anyway, right? So I guess that’s perfectly fine. 🙂

That’s it for today. Have a good weekend. Oh, and as for Edward and Bella, I wish them this:

Hope everyone had a good Easter break. As for me, I went on a camping trip and had an awesome time. But details will have to wait till the next post as I have had a sudden urge to try my hand at fiction. I wanted to write a very short story and see how I go with it, so without further ado, here goes:

Once upon a time there lived a flock of birds. But this was no ordinary flock of birds. It was very unique because there were many types of birds living together. In this flock there was an Eagle, a Parrot, a Magpie, a Crow, an Asian Paradise Flycatcher, and a Woodpecker. The Eagle was old and wise. The Magpie and the Crow kept mostly to themselves and although they had their differences they were friends. The Parrot was pretty much a Parrot – it would easily go with the flow and repeat anything anyone said. The Paradise Flycatcher was also quite old and spent all her time telling others what to do. Since she was at an advanced age none of the other birds dared to tell her off and listened obediently.

The Woodpecker was bigger than all the other birds, even bigger than the Eagle. So the Woodpecker thought he was ‘special’ and started acting pompously. He also could sing better than the other birds and would entertain the others in the flock with many a song. The Parrot was attracted to the many antics that the Woodpecker pulled and they soon became best friends. The Parrot also started being pompous.

The Eagle, being wise, noticed this trend and advised the Parrot and the Woodpecker to behave themselves and show some respect around the nest. However, the Flycatcher was already under the spell of the Woodpecker. She was so taken by the singing of the Woodpecker that she would always find an excuse for his behavior. What she didn’t realize was that the Woodpecker was above all very cunning. He pretended to listen to the Flycatcher and be very obedient, bus as soon as her back was turned he was up to no good.

In addition to the general boisterous nature, the Woodpecker had become very adept at avoiding any work. He would find a way of passing on his chores to the Magpie and the Crow and occasionally the Parrot. So while the other birds went off looking for food, the Woodpecker and the Parrot would fly off in the other direction and wander about. But, the two of the would return to the nest just before the others came back. This way the other birds were forced to share the food with these two free-riders.

This went on for sometime and the Crow and the Magpie started being vocal about the misbehavior of the Woodpecker. However, the Flycatcher was always there to rescue the Woodpecker and find an excuse for him missing chores. She would as things like “Oh, but he sings so nicely” or “He’s just being a boy”. But soon, the Crow and the Magpie had had enough of this nonsense. They went to the Eagle and told him that they were flying away to another flock. By this time the Eagle  was also quite disappointing in the Woodpecker and the Parrot. So he gave his blessing to them and bade them farewell.

Now, there was no one left in the flock to do the hard laborious tasks of finding food or cleaning up the nest. The Eagle was able to hunt but couldn’t provide for the whole flock by himself. The Flycatcher was too old and fragile to do any work. But none of this mattered to the Woodpecker and he continued to play the fool. He was able to coerce the Parrot into getting food for him.

After sometime the Flycatcher got sick due to lack of food. But never did the Woodpecker even give her a passing glance. He didn’t care that the Flycatcher had always protected him when others pointed out his faults. He no longer had a use for the Flycatcher and left her to her fate. Seeing this the Parrot realized that he will be treated the same way by the Woodpecker. So the Parrot talked with the Eagle and decided to leave once the Flycatcher met her inevitable end.

Did the Woodpecker notice he had lost everybody around him due to his actions? It was only when the Eagle and the Parrot left that the sad truth hit home. By this time it was too late – the ship had sailed away a long time ago. The Woodpecker was left all alone and had to fend for himself. But, he didn’t know how to, he had gotten so used to relying on others that he didn’t know anything on how to survive. The Woodpecker lived miserably for the rest of his life until he met his untimely death.

~ The End ~

What did you think of the story?